


Growl All You Want

by orphan_account



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: A lot - Freeform, M/M, pre-Hale siblings leave, this hurt me, you're welcome anyway
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-10
Updated: 2013-11-10
Packaged: 2018-01-01 00:36:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,190
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1038258
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account





	Growl All You Want

“Derek… I was thinking maybe we should go. You need to take a break from Beacon Hills for a while. Down in South America I met some people who are related to Mom and-“

Cora was sitting next to him on the desk, overlooking almost the entire loft with a sort of reverent. Just like Derek, all she saw now here were the fights and the deaths that took place in this particular space. Derek couldn’t just sell it now, that would go too far. But he could leave for a little while.

It was probably best this way.

“Yeah. I guess you’re right. Scott’s the Alpha now… He’ll take care of Isaac.”

The guy was never really Derek’s beta to begin with. He didn’t trust Derek like he trusts Scott. It was just like Deaton always said. Derek needed to trust people. But he couldn’t. His entire life proved that he couldn’t trust a single soul.

“Come on. I’ll go pack our things.”

The idea of leaving the town behind for even a little while, not being reminded of the charred remains of a happy past, was exciting and terrifying at the same time. Derek knew there was some things he had to do, some things that needed time, but he had always assumed that the time for these things would come. Peace in Beacon Hills seemed like something that was getting further and further away from reality.

Scott would be a good Alpha, even in the dark times to come. He would have Deaton’s help. He would have the Argent’s approval. He would have Isaac, a good Beta who trusts Scott to the end of the world. He would have Stiles, who is likely the most brilliant friend anyone could ask for. Not that they were really friends. Derek liked to pretend they were, but all they ever really were is allies.

Even that time when he hid in the kid’s room, they avoided each other more than not. It was actually terrible, considering that there was no one more like Paige than Stiles.

God, he needed to leave. His mind was drawing him back and back again and it wasn’t good for him. Paige was gone. Kate was thankfully over. Jennifer… got what she deserved. Whatever he touches either withers and dies or becomes twisted. He couldn’t do that to anyone anymore. He saw all the good in those kids. And they are just kids. All still in high school, having seen more than anyone deserved in their life.

It’s better?

“So, it’s true?”

Derek head whipped up, staring wide-eyed at a clearly upset and red-faced Stiles. How long had he stood there? Derek didn’t notice him and Cora didn’t mention it. He was actually hoping they could make a quick and quiet escape. But here he was, the ridiculously persistent kid, reminding Derek once again how he was messing up so many lives.

“You’re not the Alpha anymore and the first thing you do is tug your tail between your legs and run? I expected that you’d be bummed out but this is literally ridiculous.”

“There are some things I have to fix.”

“Yeah. Sure. There’s always stuff to fix. But you just… can’t go. Not now.”

“Why?” Derek pushed off the desk and folded his arms defensively.

“I thought you were smart Stiles. You of all people should realize that whatever I do in this town messes things up even more.”

Stiles narrowed his eyes at him but Derek remained stern. There was likely nothing that Stiles could say to change his mind now. It wasn’t really of his concern anyway.

“You are so dense, Derek… But fine. I will humor you.”

Stiles got louder and sharper with his voice, making Derek want to cringe. There was no way Cora hadn’t noticed any of this. It was obvious that she was scared of coming down to this.

“Did you make wrong decisions, Derek? Yes. Did you date another psychopathic bitch? Yes! Did said bitch almost kill my dad? Hell to the yes! Are you happy now? I’m agreeing! You really should leave, Derek!”

In any other context the angry face that Stiles was making would have given Derek a hard time to stay serious, but this situation was just terrifying. He knew that he had made mistakes and everything was his fault, but having Stiles point it out and use it in an argument kind of stung even more than simply being self-aware.

For whatever reason Derek had always wanted Stiles to be impressed of him. Had it been strength, authority, or simply being a functioning human being (he was still sure that was the root of all evil) it had always been to show off in front of this kid. It made no sense but seeing how disappointed he now was in Derek, made Derek feel like fleeing. For the very first time he was aware that he would be running away. And he wasn’t stopping it.

“For admittedly being a monster, you’re being a fucking terrible one! So damn considerate suddenly… Be selfish, Derek! Just… stay. Please.”

“I won’t, Stiles! It’s already decided.”

The boy, almost man if you thought of his maturity level, trembled harshly. His face was contorted in anger and hatred.

“Good! Have fun wherever you’re going! Don’t even think about knocking on my window!”

Stiles turned and stormed out of the open metal door, pushing it shut with a loud bang. That noise rang in Derek’s ear for a while. It was the sound that clarified how must he lost Stiles.

Stiles had always saved him. He had always challenged him. He was there when he needed him the most this year. Now he was gone.

“You love him.”

Derek wanted to laugh and cry at the same time. Cora sure never was one for subtlety or discretion.

“I trust him.”

“It’s the same thing. For any of us trust means even more than love.”

Derek shook his head, staring at his hands. All he saw was Stiles, pulling him back, pulling him to the surface, bringing him back to life. He was just always there. Derek never questioned it much. Not seriously anyway. Stiles started as an extension to Scott and then he just felt like an extension to Derek too. He was always their glue. He was the bridge.

 

Despite Cora reassuring Derek that he could and probably should stay, for Stiles, he didn’t. He couldn’t just abort his decision now. It wasn’t possible in Derek’s mind. There wasn’t even any guarantee that he wouldn’t be rejected from Stiles. And as much as Derek tried to play the confident alpha type, that was never truly him and he was scared more than anything.

He would come back. There was no way he couldn’t when he was thinking of the pale, mole covered kid with the big curious eyes and the smart mouth every day. But it would take some time to muster the courage and to let him heal. To let him live the life that Derek took away from him and Scott back in sophomore year.


End file.
